


outclass

by spookykingdomstarlight



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Attraction, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Fix-It, Hugs, Inferiority Complex, Love Confessions, Pining, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-08 16:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15933785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookykingdomstarlight/pseuds/spookykingdomstarlight
Summary: There was nothing she wanted more than to go to Gamora and pull her into a fierce hug and never let go. And that was fine. That, she could do. That, she was worried, might lead to something else, something she couldn’t share in public, something she dared not want from Gamora. If she touched Gamora now, she was afraid of what she might do.





	outclass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HereInLies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HereInLies/gifts).



Nebula never expected to be the one to save her sister from Thanos. She talked a lot about defeating him, about exacting revenge from him for what he did to her and took from her and made her believe about herself and about Gamora. Gamora whom he killed. Gamora whom Peter Quill could not save.

She would have hated him if she could, but all she felt was grief for the only person she’d ever loved, a riptide that dragged through her, a black hole meant to disintegrate her. Her heart—whatever pieces of it still existed—shattered further and the jagged edges of it tore her up inside. A wild creature could have ripped her in half and it would have been less painful. Yet even with all that rage and that motivation, she never truly believed it would be her to bring Gamora back. There were just too many heroes around, do-gooders with powers even beyond hers, a literal god even. Right next to her. The Mighty Thor.

Who was Nebula compared to that?

Nebula was nothing; she was a failure.

And yet here Nebula stood, with Gamora standing across from her on the awful, rocky stretch of one of Vormir’s cliffs, the place where Thanos killed her.

She looked over the edge because she couldn’t look at Gamora, not yet. Once she could draw in a breath that didn’t rattle in the hollow spaces in her chest, she might try. Instead, she focused on Thanos’s body, the pulp of it at the very bottom of that cliff. She hoped he spent his last moments in terror, knowing that he’d been denied everything in the end. The sacrifice he’d made of Gamora hadn’t mattered; he didn’t get what he wanted. The bastard didn’t deserve anything else.

The Mad Titan, as fallible as the rest of them. Literally.

“Rest in fucking pieces, you wrinkly grape asshole,” Rocket shouted over the side of the cliff before he bounded toward Gamora. “Gamora!” His shrieks of unbridged joy grated at Nebula’s ears and she caught him by his collar before he could get very far.

“Shut. Up,” she said through gritted teeth as Rocket’s arms pinwheeled and his legs kicked out. It wasn’t right that he could express himself so, unconcerned while he got everything he wanted. Somehow they all knew—Nebula exchanged a glance with Tony, who looked so relieved that she couldn’t help but know, too, that when they got back to Titan, they’d be picking up that Spider-child—that they’d reversed it all. Even Thor was smiling, throwing celebratory arms around every shoulder he could find.

They’d saved the day.

And Nebula had saved Gamora.

Between the two, Nebula only cared about one of those facts.

But she couldn’t make that clear, could she, not with so many people around. Not ever. She’d always loved her sister too well. It had always been her greatest weakness. And even so, she could only hate herself and Gamora so much for it. Now that she knew what the universe was like without her, she couldn’t hate Gamora at all.

Nebula released her hold on Rocket, threw him toward the ground so that he had to scramble. “Fuck you, too, Blue,” he said over his shoulder, still determined to reach Gamora.

Envy burned inside of her and threatened to choke her.

There was nothing she wanted more than to go to Gamora and pull her into a fierce hug and never let go. And that was fine, wanting it. That, she could do. It was the act itself that troubled her. That, she was worried, might lead to something else, something she couldn’t share in public, something she dared not want from Gamora. If she touched Gamora now, she was afraid of what she might do.

They were sisters, after all, and there were people around who had very conservative ideas about what that meant. Even Gamora might have felt that way. Nebula didn’t know. They’d never talked about it.

They were sisters and they’d been enemies, too, which would have been even more inexplicable to some.

Stamping her feet, she huffed and turned away. With crossed arms, she stared out across the vast expanses of Vormir and breathed deeply. This sort of bullshit never helped, but she tried, because otherwise she’d tear herself to pieces in her jealousy. She couldn’t even have from Gamora what Gamora’s friends were free to take.

Nebula had saved her and it meant nothing except that Nebula could continue to exist.

At the moment, that didn’t feel like much even though it was everything.

Light steps crunched across the grit and pebbles that peppered the ground. It was, she both hoped and feared, Gamora. Nobody else walked like that, like they had to work to make their footsteps heard. She’d always been a good assassin, quiet, preternaturally so.

She wanted Nebula to know she was coming. Nebula did everything she could to keep from stiffening in response. 

It was bound to happen, but Nebula wasn’t sure how she was supposed to handle this now. It had always been awkward and strained. This was something entirely different. 

An ache spread through her; she hadn’t known what it was before, but she couldn’t deny it to herself now. She loved Gamora. 

She _loved_ Gamora.

As a sister. As everything.

“Hey,” Gamora said, soft, her arms coming up to wrap around Nebula’s shoulders from behind. Nebula flinched, but she hoped it wasn’t so very different from the usual way she behaved when people touched her. She didn’t like touching in general. Gamora was an exception. Except not now. Not this time. Now she loathed even Gamora’s touch.

Gamora’s touch sent electric shocks through her, enough to set her to trembling. It was weak. She was so weak. And it felt like everyone was watching them.

“You died,” Nebula said, snappish, pained. “You let him win. I should hate you for that.” It would have been so much easier than loving Gamora in the empty, hopeless way she did. They’d rarely touched one another this gently even when they were so young Thanos hadn’t yet turned them against one another. And even now that they’d reconciled as best they could, it was strange. Nebula would have stayed there forever regardless.

It was all she wanted.

“You saved me,” Gamora replied, still soft, so different from how she usually was. And Nebula responded, sad, pathetic girl that she was. She felt it deep down inside of her, in places she didn’t think reachable any longer. Gamora’s breath ghosted across her cheek. “You don’t hate me.”

It wasn’t fair. It _wasn’t fair_.

Nebula tried to jerk out of Gamora’s grasp. She needed distance. And time. Let Gamora frolic with the other guardians, her friends in the Avengers, whatever. “Let me go.”

“I should have told you,” Gamora continued, her grip superior to Nebula’s wrenching motions, “before I came to this place.”

Though Nebula stilled, she wasn’t happy. Then again, when had she ever been happy? “What should you have told me?”

“That I love you.” And it was wonderful that Gamora could so easily say those words, whisper them into Nebula’s ear like so much poison while Nebula was forced to choke on the sentiment. That was just fine. “That I’m in love with you.”

Sucking in a deep breath, Nebula nearly gasped. It wasn’t relief she felt so much as tremendous fear as the weight of her emotions lifted from her shoulders. She didn’t know what to do with anything besides hate.

“We can’t do this here.” Nebula gritted her teeth. “Why would you—”

“We don’t have to,” Gamora said. Her lips, soft and warm, grazed for the briefest moment over Nebula’s cheek. “Not right now. But we should talk about it later.” There was steel in Gamora’s voice now. She would accept no argument from Nebula. And Nebula didn’t really want to offer one with all the hope unfurling inside the empty spaces of her heart. “We should do more than that later if you’ll have me.”

Her lips again touched Nebula’s skin and from behind it might even have looked entirely innocent.

Nebula shuddered and nodded.

Gamora had always bested her and surprised her and now was no different.

This time, though, Nebula couldn’t say she minded.

Not at all.


End file.
